Wednesday, August 5, 2009

thinsporation?

Someone told me I was their thinspo..
Really?
:')
wow. Everytime I think about it, like.. yeah I have come pretty far I guess.
But something tells me I'm still not good enough for that. I'm not worthy of all you guys's praise and stuff.
I'm still fat and lazy and gross and horrible and really really ugly and idk maybe in a few months I will feel differently but right now I just feel like.. unworthy I guess.
Plus, I'm sooooooooooo hungry.
I like it. It feels nice. I love the contrast of bingeing and fasting like one minute I'm so full I could throw up without even trying and the next minute I'm so empty I could float away :) I love it.
Today is No-Calorie-Wednesday, and for the first time in almost a month, I'm actually going to do it. I feel so great about not having eaten today that I might just never eat again.
Who needs food anyways right? Eating is so overrated.
Nothing tastes this good.
I'm 157 again. Going to the track today, and hopefully I'll be at 155 tomorrow, but that's just wishful thinking. Just a mere prediction.
Even if it's only 156 then at least I'm back where I started.
But I'm going to work my ass of today and tomorrow at the track. I have to.
I ate yesterday. No more than 200 calories, but still food nonetheless. Soup, crackers, bread w/ peanut butter on it... yah, I suck.
But I figured since I fasted really well monday, and I'm going to do well today and tomorrow, if I don't eat anything by Friday after my photos then I'll eat some Ramen noodles.
They're the only thing I truly miss about eating normal.

But even still, they don't taste this good.

When I woke up this morning, I almost fell over because I got dizzy :) I love this feeling.
So storng, but so light and airy :)
I'm so glad I'm finally back to this.
Thank you thank you thank you, whoever you are.
<333

5 comments:

  1. You inspire me.
    The whole time I am reading your post I'm like.. I want to successfully complete a fast. I want her dedication. You are truly amazing! :) I love following your blog!

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  2. No calories, yay!!! :) That's so good for you! I know your pictures will be beautiful.

    You have all of our support, think thin!

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  3. Wonderful job so far! I think you're inspiring too! You've really lost a lot and I love reading your blog!
    Stay strong <3

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  4. You are a thinspiration! Keep up the amazing work! :)

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  5. I don't know about thinspiration because.. I don't see you, but for me you are INSPIRATION.

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