Sunday, August 23, 2009


ok, so... i figured.. if i drink like 137897934758 gallons of water today, and like 3 pots of coffee, maybe ill lose the water weight part quicker...
so yeah i fasted today pretty much it went well so far and i got my project done finally i feel a little better but im so fucking scared about tomorrow i dont want to go to school i dont want to be a senior i dont want to grow up this is freaking me out idk why this is such a big deal everyone grows up sometime why is this so hard for me i cant do it i cant grow up its like.. idk i never really got to be a child .. this sucks so fucking much omg
and im gonna look so horrible tomorrow :/
all my friends are gonna be like omg youve lost weight!
but thats cuz they didnt see me on thursday, so thy wont know that ive actually gained weight :/
im the same weight now that i was 2 months ago :/
and that sucks.

but oh well. pick myself up and deal with it i guess.
go with the flow, and take whatever life decides to throw at me, even if that means becomming a senior :(

you guys are so nice and encouraging. thats what i really need right now, a positive approach to things i guess. thank you <3

im not ready for the life thats being thrown at me right now.
i dont know how to handle it.


  1. Just take one day at a time, & remember that you CAN & will get back to what you weighed two mths ago when you want to =)
    Enjoy the compliments from all your friends & use them to push you to get back to when you were on your "A Game"
    Try to enjoy school, even though its hard.

  2. You can definitely lose those pounds, easy! (Hmm, is your scale broken? Or if it's digital, in need of new batteries? Technicalities are good to consider!)

    I'm not ready for school either, but I know that we can do so well. Just think of how everyone is going to be so jealous of the way you are shedding flesh!!! :) Their faces... going to be so awesome!

  3. well, you don't have a choice but to keep getting older, so do it the best you can. you can do it, and tomorrow is going to be a great day and the weight is gonna come off, sounds like you already have yourself back under control!


  4. None of us ever are. I'm 23 and I'm no more prepared to grow up. It's...terrifying. But you can't really fight it, I guess.

    Best quote ever is "So what, now what?" So what if you messed up, now what are you going to do about it?
    It's sort of cold, but it's what's gotten me through a lot of things. I'm sorry you've had such a hard time lately, but I still believe in you. I know you'll do great. *Hugs*

    Good luck on your first day, dovey.
    And don't worry. I think you'll make a good grown up.

  5. I'm trying to figure out the best way to leave comments so you understand where I'm coming from cause I did the exact same things you're doing right now, and they really hurt my health! I guess I'm not good at internet speak :-(

    The system your body uses to clean itself out is the adrenal system and the organ responsible is the liver. Loading your system with toxins is f'ing up that system and throwing your hormones (among them fat burning hormones) totally out of whack!

    You can trust me. I'm a personal trainer and learning am working towards becoming a holistic doctor. I hate watching you self destruct, its like stopping during a traffic jam to check out a car wreck. I don't want to visit your blog, but I just can't help myself!

  6. One
    You can do it babygirl.