Monday, August 3, 2009

awww :)

All you people are so freaking amazing :)
How is everyone doing on their fasts? In Florida, it is approx 8:45 right now, and I've been drinking water constantly all day to help flush all the gross stuff I ate yesterday, and I feel so much better now because I haven't eaten in over 24 hours and gah I just feel so much better idk...
I so hope I've lost some weight by the morning though. I managed to be only 160 this morning, so I guess the water weight stuff wasn't so bad from yesterday, but then I drank four bottles of water, wore my heaviest jeans, and 3 shirts to the doctor's today, and he believes the scale when it says 170 :) So now my family has nothing to worry about until I go for my sports physical in November, and hopefully by then I'll be at 140 or less.
I took laxatives yesterday, even though I said I wouldn't, but I only took half and then I took half of the remaining half earlier today because seriously I just want it out like I can still feel stuff in there like settling and I need that shit to understand that it so cannot settle in my stomach or on my body at all, and it has to move out.
I want to feel empty again. I miss it so much.
I have to be 155 on Friday for my senior pictures. Why did I binge when I was soooo close????
But it's going to be ok, because if I liquid fast I can totally at least get to the point I was Sunday morning, when I felt so great after not having binged the night before.
I just like went through and read everyone's blogs and stuff and I feel alot more calm and relaxed now and I'm going to finish this bottle of water, then drink two more before I go to sleep, and do some exercises.
OH! I almost forgot: I started reading Animal Liberation today, by Peter Singer. AMAZING.
I've fallen in love with an Australian philosopher.
Stay strong everyone!! Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
Not even the pie in the fridge calling my name :)


  1. haha I loved how you ended that post. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels. That's something I have to remember. Do laxitives have much of an effect on your weight? I want to try them, especially when I've just eaten too much and want it out of me asap. I know what you mean about binging when you're so close! My results (and photos if I do well) are in 16 days and I was expecting to be on full on weight loss mode by now! You asked how our fasts are going - I just started one 1 hour ago and it's going great ;) haha good luck with your day :)!

  2. i wanted to fast with you through tomorrow but omg i had to have crackers this morning. i broke. kill me. ugh, i'm weak

    Or something.
    You always amaze me with how happy you are through your fasts. I get so cranky XD

    I love reading your blog because you always seem so cheery and upbeat, or at least generally, and I just wanna hug your head.

    Good luck with the senior pics!

  4. morg-ana: your brain needs glucose to function. Your desire to eat crackers was motivated by your brain's desire to be able to think, and this trumps your willpower. In any event, a few crackers ain't going to break you, so chill out ;-)