Wednesday, February 15, 2012

i used to think drugs made me not care about food to the point where i just wouldn't eat, but now it's slowly becoming this sort of thing where i'm so whacked out that i don't care if i'm fat.

cue the cycle:
gain weight>>freak out>> starve>> lose weight>>binge...

i was going to try to restrict and then i realized i have no fucking idea how to do that anymore :'(
i'm in recovery goddammit.

Monday, February 6, 2012

legit questions for females only?

have you ever experienced depression from birth control (specifically depo provera aka ‘the shot’)? have you found a bc method besides just using condoms that doesn’t make you depressed?

i take depo and every single time the first month after the shot i go completely insane and when it starts to wear off after the three months i feel high as a kite and on top of the world. these extremes are driving me crazy and i refuse to put my mind through this again. i really need to know what other people have tried. i definitely need to switch birth controls but i refuse to let the shot wear off and then switch to something else and then that one make me depressed also. also, if it causes weight gain, it’s automatically out of the question.

all i fucking wanted was some goddamn cuddles and i waited for an hour for you to finish your homework literally holding my eyelids open so i wouldnt fall asleep before you were done and then i fell asleep anyways because i was so tired and when i woke up you just weren't there because you stayed up all night with your friends and i woke up all fucking alone :'(

wtf is going on with me right now? everything is the end of the world and i can't fucking take it.
my life is perfect why the fuck am i so sad and angry all of a sudden?