i took 5 hits of acid friday night, and learned a lot about the people around me and about myself. except, i feel like a different person, like personality-wise. all my thoughts are sort of empty. i still feel emotions when they are provoked by outside stimulus, but my insides feel sort of blank. it’s kind of peaceful to not have all the feelings inside that i used to though, because they were really irrational and they drove me insane.
i feel really separated from society now though, and i think i always felt this way but i tried so hard to conform to society’s ideals that i didn’t realize how absurd that actually is. fuck society. i’m not like most people, and i don’t want a life like most people do. i know there’s something more out there and i need to find it.
also, i think i perma-tripped. sometimes i think i see things out of the corner of my eye that aren’t there when i look at them face-on. this would drive a normal person insane, but i guess i know deep inside its just the drugs and there’s nothing i can do about it really lol
it kind of lets me see my own little world that i live in all the time instead of just when i’m tripping, which is kind of cool, and i know i can ignore it when i need to because i know it’s not real.
i think i have a lot to think about…