Sunday, August 2, 2009

love sleepovers

Yeah... it's Sunday... I'm supposed to fast today.. which means I'm not supposed to eat a huge fucking bowl of oatmeal with peanut butter and soymilk and fucking candy sprinkles on top wtf what kind of fucking fat kid puts rainbow candy sprinkles on oatmeal?????????
Idk even know how it happened, but I'm sure I stayed under or right around 500 so I'm still good for my limit now I just gotta watch my back (and my mouth) for the rest of today.
But yesterday was sooooo good and my friend and I spent like 3 hours looking at my collection of thinspo because we both wanted to binge so badly and I was like no, I'm not going to let you binge, because we don't deserve that yet and we didn't eat anything at all and when I woke up I was still 156 even though I ate so much yesterday and we didn't binge and it was so great and we were both so freaking happy and now I totally blew my fast today but that is ok because I haven't eaten since around 10 so I'll just fast for 30 hours like I was going to do for today...
Except I'm going to the doctor tomorrow for a check-up and my mom always goes into the room with me for some reason so she always sees when they weigh me and I really don't want her to know that I weigh 156 I want her to keep thinking it's more like 166 that way she doesn't get suspicious so I think I'm going to drink like a gallon of water before I go... and wear lots of layers.
Ok, it's going to be ok, I'm going to the track today, hopefully all day, and it will be fine, like the oatmeal never happened...
To all my new followers, HEYYY!!
Seriously, when I started this thing, I never thought anyone would read it. Ever. I have 44 followers! That is so cool. You guys are all so awesome and amazing and it's so great to know that
I'm not the only one.


  1. Put heavy stuff in your pockets when you go to the doctor.. and wear heavy shoes. Ha ha. Could that work? And you are so freaking cute! No offense, but you eat some of the weirdest things.. I guess it sounds yummy.. I don't know.. You must be really hungry or something. I don't know.. When you do eat, try sticking with the more natural, organic, raw foods. Eventually you will lose the taste for things like sprinkles because.. sprinkles are just harden sugar or something.. Honestly, they are like little bits of plastic. Anyway, eventually you will no longer think they taste good and will just stop eating them, and stuff like that, because it will all taste like gross chemicals and plastic to you. Trust me, man. I know I have my cheese issues.. but.. yeah.

    I'm glad you have a friend you can look at thinpo pictures with and all that. Good to have support like you do. Oh, and that is cool you have 44 followers. I have like 16 and it kind of freaks me out ha ha :)

  2. ...sprinkles?! BAHAHAHAHA
    i cannot even BELIEVE that. i laughed so hard when i read that. who does that?! LOL.

    and girl, watch your soymilk.
    ill tell you why. soymilk has a LOT of isoflavones, the bad kind, which mimic the estrogen in your body, which leads to weight gain. whereas organic soymilk, has fewer isoflavones and they're a lot weaker and help block the receptors for bad estrogen. so .. be careful. :)

  3. no prob, babygirl!!
    i do a lot of research to bust the myths and truths of weight loss/gain. and girl, soy is starting to be proven as bad for the body in large amounts. and everything everyone makes uses so much soy oils, and products because its inexpensive..government doesnt care about our health. they care about cost.

    and bad estrogen (estrone) stimulates the cortisol in your bellyfat, and more cortisol your have circulating stimulates more belly fat to grow.. its a vicious cycle. just wanna keep you skinny! :) if you absolutely need milk, drink skim nonfat, but milk is silly anyways. we are the only species to still drink milk as an adult. AND we are the only species to drink ANOTHER species milk, lol. do you see the craziness here? anywho, take care! <3