Thursday, July 16, 2009

you know something's up when...

...someone goes missing for a day or two. Whenever someone doesn't post regularly like they usually do, something had to have happened right?
My friend came back from her trip!!!!! But then we decided hey let's throw a party and eat a whole month's worth of food (probably totaling $30-$40) in like 3 hours!!!
Not fun. Especially not when, after three binges in one day, I decide that it's ok to take a total of 15 laxatives in one day....
Don't ever do it. Ever.
My stomach is a black hole. And that black hole leads to a fucking volcanoe.
And there has been an endless flow of fucking lava for the past 12 hours.
Do not ever take that many in one day fucking ever.
But anyways, I'm trying not to think about it, because today is a new day and after all the volcanic explosions I only gained like one pound maybe, so I'm still continuing ABC. 400 today, so far so good.
coffee, oatmeal, veggie burger stir fry.. yep.
I'm going to try and do less than 400 though, because if I still have an extra like 50 or 100 calories, I'm treating myself to hot chocolate, even though I don't deserve it after yesterday, but that was yesterday, and I can't change that, so I'm focusing on just today.
And today is a new day.
And tomorrow will be a new day.
And I will be 150 by August 24th. I fucking will.
Know why???
Because yesterday before mine and my friend's foodfest, I got new clothes. Some size 8 jeans. Fucking size 8. They are so cute. And they almost fit me perfectly, they're just too tight. And I wanna wear them the first day of school. So I can tell everyone that I'm a size 8. :)))
Actually, I also have a pair of size 9s that I would like to wear to orientation, because people will be there too... :DDDD
I'm excited.
I can't wait to be skinny.

Now I must catch up on everyone else's blogs!!


  1. i took 12 laxatives once, thats the most ive taken in one go, but thats only cos there was only 12 left in the box, if there were more i wouldve taken them i was in such a state... so i know what you mean :/

  2. Hi
    i just started reading your blog.. and i really find it inspirational and interesting..
    i will read it from start when i get the time..
    but i hope you stay strong

  3. Oh no! I'll take your word on not taking 15 laxies in one day! : ( I couldn't even imagine least you didn't gain a lot though...
    You are right that today is a new day and tomorrow too. It's important not to dwell on our mistakes, but learn from them and move on towards success : D Good luck on abc and I'm sure you'll be down and into those size 8s in no time <3

  4. I just came over to see what was up with you - speaking of something's up. I even missed the update you had posted! Guess I am subscribed to so many.. ha ha..

    I am so stoked for you and your size 8 jeans! God, what I wouldn't give to be a size 8.. Keep it up and keep us updated and if you need something to distract yourself from binging, post all those thoughts on here like you did that one day :)

    <3 <3 <3 Good to see you come back :D

  5. Size 8! Congrats. Fitting into new sizes is great motivation. I have often realized that a large reason why I do this is because I want to look really good in any designer I choose. I remember when I first put on a pair of size 9's and was shocked, first time I had been in single digit sizes in years. It was such a high. I hope you are loving it and rocking those jeans! Jeans too...that's a trip because they almost always fit tight.

  6. ohhhh wow.. never do that.
    OH i got a contest going where a bunch of us are going to lose ten lbs by august 25th. :D
    you can totally join if you want.

    im gonna follow your blog. <3

  7. I havent come close to how many laxatives you took in one day and i was in so much pain. (not to mention the volcanic eruptions pretty much every hour) I couldn't imagine the horrible experience you went through the next day. Ad as for your size 8 jeans, yay ! =] buying clothes that are too small work really well for motivation. Especially if they're designer/expensive. Then you know you have to fit into them because you spent so much money buying them in the first place. I'm so glad one of us has managed to stay on track<3