Thursday, July 9, 2009


I fucking told myself: if I only eat half of the veggie burger, then I can treat myself to a small bite of the vegan brownies I made and call it a day.
Simple, right?
i ate the whole goddamn veggie burger, with lettuce tomatoe mustard...
then went back for fuckign triscuits, and its so hard to deny myself even one bite of brownies...
and mom wants to watch a movie and thats always a biggggggg trigger cuz i love eating junk food while watching a movie omgomgomgomg
i definitely went over 300. but not really by a whole lot. maybe im at like 350 ish? or 400 ish?
and if i go back for brownie it will shoot up to at least 500...
which is still ok ish..
and i worked out a little today..
and i could just water fast tomorrow...
or i could skip the brownie and do more exercise and water fast tomorrow to make up for saturday...
this is so fucking stupid i couldn't even go a whole mother fucking week on abc fuck my life.
its ok, im ok, i havent eaten the brownie yet, there's still some hope.
i can do this.
i can do this.
i have to do this.
im too fat not to do this.
im going to bed.


  1. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. We all have days like this. I know sometimes you just intend to eat such a small amount and then before you know it there is no control left at all. I am so familiar with that feeling and the horrible feeling of failure that comes after. But it will pass and it will give you strength to make tomorrow better. Best of luck!

  2. From what I've heard, no one has been able to do the ABC. Don't beat yourself up over this - you are doing good. And good for you to decide to go to bed rather than eat a brownie :)

  3. Hey, thanks for the comment.
    Don't beat yourself up, it just leads to more binges. Try feel good about the weight you've lost & how good you feel about losing more weight. *hugs*

    Goood luck.

  4. Don't eat the brownie!
    Ok you posted this 7 hours ago I may just be too late ^^
    But it's nott ok.
    I always get in the mindset that I already went over my limit I'll just eat this extra thing. Or I'll just have a little bit. But it's still unnecessary extra calories!
    I really need to take my own advice.
    Stay strong xx