Thursday, July 9, 2009

waaaaahhhhh

I fucking told myself: if I only eat half of the veggie burger, then I can treat myself to a small bite of the vegan brownies I made and call it a day.
Simple, right?
fmlfmlfml
i ate the whole goddamn veggie burger, with lettuce tomatoe mustard...
then went back for fuckign triscuits, and its so hard to deny myself even one bite of brownies...
:///
gahhhhh
and mom wants to watch a movie and thats always a biggggggg trigger cuz i love eating junk food while watching a movie omgomgomgomg
i definitely went over 300. but not really by a whole lot. maybe im at like 350 ish? or 400 ish?
and if i go back for brownie it will shoot up to at least 500...
which is still ok ish..
and i worked out a little today..
and i could just water fast tomorrow...
or i could skip the brownie and do more exercise and water fast tomorrow to make up for saturday...
gaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
this is so fucking stupid i couldn't even go a whole mother fucking week on abc fuck my life.
its ok, im ok, i havent eaten the brownie yet, there's still some hope.
i can do this.
i can do this.
i have to do this.
im too fat not to do this.
im going to bed.

4 comments:

  1. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. We all have days like this. I know sometimes you just intend to eat such a small amount and then before you know it there is no control left at all. I am so familiar with that feeling and the horrible feeling of failure that comes after. But it will pass and it will give you strength to make tomorrow better. Best of luck!

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  2. From what I've heard, no one has been able to do the ABC. Don't beat yourself up over this - you are doing good. And good for you to decide to go to bed rather than eat a brownie :)

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  3. Hey, thanks for the comment.
    Don't beat yourself up, it just leads to more binges. Try feel good about the weight you've lost & how good you feel about losing more weight. *hugs*

    Goood luck.

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  4. Don't eat the brownie!
    Ok you posted this 7 hours ago I may just be too late ^^
    But it's nott ok.
    I always get in the mindset that I already went over my limit I'll just eat this extra thing. Or I'll just have a little bit. But it's still unnecessary extra calories!
    I really need to take my own advice.
    Stay strong xx

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