Monday, July 20, 2009


i hate myself
there goes 160

like four days of non-stop eating/laxatives/diet pills/fuck my life

there goes size 8
there goes abc...
i think ill just start over.
or maybe a new diet.
as soon as i finish off this box of pasta. and maybe another one. and maybe some cereal...


  1. Awww :( You can start over, it's okay. What is that stupid saying about success? If at first you don't succeed, try try again (or pay someone else to do it. Ha ha just kidding!) You can do it :) Finish off the box of pasta and then promise yourself you won't do it any more :)

  2. stop! put down that pasta! paint your nails, watch a movie, read a book and if you still want the pasta then take a bite, but wait an hour or two and see how you feel first!

    well i'm guessing you wont get this message till later so i don't know if that helped.
    everyone binges (uh for me its like everyother day!) and screws up. You can over come it. You messed up but you still have like a month and you can get back on track! I know you can! don't be too hard on yourself. it might seem bad now, but trust me, i just had like a week of overeating and after just a day i'm already feeling better and I know i'll be back on track with just a couple more days like this.

    you haven't blogged at all the past few days. it seems like you do better when you blog every day so try to update us more often. maybe it will help? :]

  3. you can start over.
    but stop now while you're ahead!
    no more last meal syndrome,
    stop and get back on the horse.
    you can do it <3

  4. Awh, don't be too discouraged. You can start over and you'll be even more motivated. Just think of how much better you felt the day you found out how many inches you lost, and think of how great it'll be to get back to that! Don't get too bummed over all of this, because you want your weight loss to be a positive experience, not one filled with guilt and self-hatred. You'll make up for everything.

  5. : ( No pasta! You know it's not worth it!
    Please don't be too down. Why don't you go on a fast, maybe work out extra hard. I'm sure you'll be back to 160 in no time. Just think of how far you've come! You've been so strong and you will be strong again <3 Maybe abc's was a little too restrictive....?
    Good luck, I'm sure you'll be back on track tomorrow <3

  6. Okay I take back what I said earlier - you don't need the pasta! Put it down and walk away, these other ladies are right. And you know there is no such thing as a last meal or whatever you want to call it.. No big binges before - you just gotta do it now. You can do it!!

  7. ahhh i had i very similar day as you. i went three days, three GREAT days on nothing but a bit of fruit and today i completely screwed it up.

    im a purging anorexic, not sure about you, but this morning i weighed 111 even. after 4 binges and purges i weighed 111.6.not much harm done! tomorrow is a new day, try to do something special to make up for it, exercise or something. make this mistake make you more determined to reach your goal than you were before.

  8. I love your blog, I'm not new to blogging, but new to this kind, where you can say... this.... I mean, about not eating. I'm trying so hard, I had pasta too, but not a lot. Still too much. I had salad, but I know tomorrow I'll be better. I forced myself to wash all the dishes without sneaking any extra bites of food, which helps me feel a little stronger. Stay strong, much love, you'll do better tomorrow, you've come so far that you can't be stopped!! <3 I'll think good thoughts your way!!<3

  9. I had a binge day yesterday too, lets start over together. Today will be a better day! I'm not eating until 12 for lunch and I'm going to try keeping calories under 600 and be home and in bed by 1030. Us ana's need our beauty sleep - keeps me out of the fucking kitchen! Wish you all the best, stay strong.

  10. I forgot to say that I'm glad to see you are back, I was getting worried. I know it's hard to post on bad days, but we are here for you.

  11. Hey. So I've been reading your blog and your doing ah-mazing! We all have our bad days. Some have more than others, but we all do. So I was thinking you and I are both around 160ish. I'm 5'4" & i was thinking i read that your only a couple inches taller, so we could maybe partner up- possibly email or im. maybe even blackberry messaging (if you have 1!) Good Luck!