Thursday, July 30, 2009


Ok, so I've been really busy with real life this week, and I haven't had enough time to escape to blogger or to really anything non-food-related/ana-related/anything i wanted at the time...
And yes, I went over my limits for Tuesday. But like most of it was because we were watching movies and my mom practically shoved bread down my throat.. even after I made the most amazing sooy-milkshake ever :/// And then yesterday I was supposed to fast and I was doing really well, but I made the mistakeof going bowling with my bf and he was like you need to eat something and he kept trying to get me to eat french fries so I ate one and was like nyeh happy now? :// no, not quite happy now. I was good for the rest of the day, lots of water and coffee and diet mountain dew but then when I got home I don't even know what happened I had upwards of about 2000 calories in like 10 minutes... fucking cheerios.. ugh. I had 3 bowls... and then 15 oreos... and peanut butter... But then I stopped myself, and went to bed before I opened the other box of cereal.
And today my mom had to go have surgery. She's having all her girl-junk removed :/ So her hormones will finally be in check and she's gonna lose like 15 pounds the doctor told her... So she's probably gonna start dieting again which means good competition :D Even though it's weird because I'm totally already winning..
But like last night I didn't sleep worth shit b/c I guess maybe I was worried that perhaps let's say something goes wrong in the operation room and my mom never came home o.o
I would have to fight my brother's ass of a father for custody as soon as I turned 18. He's never even been around why would he even be able to get custody in the first place??? Because the good ole sunshine state of Florida doesn't have grandparent rights, that's why.
So my grandma would get custody of me for the next 3 months, and my brother would be shipped off to god only knows where.
I don't fucking think so. I'll die before I see that mother fucker even touch my brother ever again.
I don't think I've ever hated anyone, or anything as much as I truly madly deeply hate that sorry excuse for a man. Why do I hate him? I would really rather not get into that, maybe a different post, but he's horrible.
He's part of the reason my mom had to get her junk lasered off.
But she's home now, so I get to take care of her yay that means she won't be focusing on what I'm eating (or not eating).
*chugs 6th cup of coffee*
I'm hoping my bff wakes up soon so we can go exercise though. I have 15 oreos to work off.
Oh yeah, and I kind of sort of took a few laxatives. Definitely not anywhere near 15 like last time, but I still took them, which wasn't good, but because of how many I had been taking, the few that I did take aren't working fast enough and I really just want it to be out so I can move on ughhh
And the good news about my life right now is that I haven't eaten yet today, I won't get to see my bf for almost a week(no social eating hellz yeah), and I'm 158 so I'm still under 160 and I figured that as long as I stay under 160 I should be fine. And I still have over a week to lose 8 pounds, and probably 3 of those are water weight, and hopefully it will all be ok.
One day.
Stay strong ladies (and gents ;])


  1. hey i have the same trouble with my bf, and sometimes i dont see him for a week at a time, so thats sad and awesome at the same time!! what is it ur mum has to get lasered off? sorry about ur brothers dad......

  2. I'm sorry to hear your life is so all over the place right now. I hope your mom gets out of surgery okay and you don't have to worry about that anymore.
    Fucking laxatives, I love them and I hate them. Make sure you are drinking water, and even though I don't take my own advice here try not to drink diet pop with them. It just makes the cramping worse with out any of the positive side effects. You are doing great, keep it up.

  3. Her junk lasored off? Hahaha. That sounds so hilarious, but I hope that the surgery goes smoothly.

    And at least you didn't pig out in front of your boyfriend, that would've been gross.

    omg that sounds horrendous. :( poor woman.
    anyways, WOW at your binge. i can totally do that too and i havent met someone who could meet my prowess when it comes to bingeing. i could still out binge anyone though. idk what it is. ahhhh. anyways! yay competition!! youll be in the 140's in no time!

  5. dang girl .. you have lost SO much already. let that be an inspiration!
    you have proven yourself strong and will continue to do so i know.
    good luck :)