Saturday, July 25, 2009

high quality h2o :]

I want to be 150 so bad I can taste it. It tastes like nothing. No, it's more than nothing. It's a pure taste, like air, or high quality h2o :] I cannot wait to get there. The day my scale blesses me with that number, I will fall over laughing and screaming with joy and tears and it will probably be the happiest day of my life thus far.
I still haven't made my appointment for my senior pictures :// I really need to, that way I know exactly how many days I'm going to liquid fast for. I know I said untill next Wednesday, but honestly I wanna go for longer than that if I can, at least until my photos are fully complete. I have to look good for this. On the other hand, I'm glad I haven't made the appointment yet, because this gives me more time to lose as much as possible, and I have even more motivation to liquify my diet and exercise bunches and plus, I really need to do something with my hair. I've neglected it for way too long and it looks really shitty. My curls seem to have fallen :// I'm going to cut it like.. maybe tomorrow. Or Wednesday. One of my zero-calorie days.
I'm waiting for my friend to wake up so we can go exercise. We didn't go to the track yesterday :/ But when I woke up this morning I did 100 crunches, and a few other simple exercises like that to get me motivated for the day.
OMG! I have a story to tell!!!!!
Ok, so my mom wakes me up this morning, and she was really nice for some reason, and she made my coffee for me. She says "I watched how you made it yesterday, and I made it for you because I noticed you've been drinking alot of coffee every morning, and I figured if I did it for you then you would have time to eat breakfast too"... weird! So I made some oatmeal, a cup of coffee, and slipped into my bedroom. My mom smokes, so it was just a matter of maybe 10 minutes before she went outside for a smoke, and then I flushed the oatmeal, and left the bowl in the sink. And she totally bought it. Yay! And then, she was eating fig newtons (:P), which she knows are vegan, and she left one in the package and was like "Eat this before I do I don't need anymore" as if testing me or something.. (remember how I said we were always competing to see who could lose the most weight? HA!) So I took it, and threw it in the trash can in my room so she wouldn't know I didn't really eat it. I told her that fig newtons tasted really really good with my coffee :] I feel so good when I trick her like that. Like last night she asked what I ate for dinner and I said ramen noodles. When really all I had was this soup brothy stuff but there was a pot in the sink, so it looked like I really did eat ramen :]] yay! hehehe
I'm really giggly right now. I think I'm antsy because I'm really anxious to go workout. I'm gonna walk 2 laps, run stairs, run 2 laps, run stairs again, and walk two more laps. And I have to ride my bike all the way there and back. So if we leave at like 1 ish, I won't get back untill like 3:30 ish, and then I'll have to get ready to go volunteer at this animal rescue place.
Oh, before I forget, my friend and I (the same one who I exercise with that also has an
ED) went yesterday to the horse place for the volunteering thingy, and it seems like it's going to be really cool. All we did was like meet the animals, and we got to feed them. It was really fun :] And I looked up how many calories one burns in one hour of doing farm-work type stuff, and it's approximately 200 calories an hour, and we were there for like 2 hours yesterday! And with my soup, oj, and v8, I only even consumed like 300 max yesterday, so I'm really looking forward to getting on the scale on Monday, after my fast tomorrow.
I got on today, but it still says 160, so w/e. No gain is a good thing :]]
I hope everyone is doing well. You guys are so awesome. <333


  1. sounds like the scales will be moving v. soon :) I agree with what you said about the guy in my thinspo... he's a bit emo looking for me but the point is that he is wearing really simple clothes, and looks awesome. I can't wait to have that :) I might actually buy that exact outfit as a treat when I can fit into it... ^^

  2. Hey, could you tell me (or us)- because I am really curious (and so proud of you for all that you have accomplished!) like the size decrease that you have experienced along with the decrease in weight? Because I know that you are at like a size 8 now, and I wanted to know like what size you started at and like.. how many pounds you lost to go down a size and so forth. Does that make sense? You don't have to if you don't want to, but I would like to know. :)

    I think that you are amazing with all the exercise you manage to get in. Damn girl. I hate exercising. I try to avoid it at all costs. I think this is a contributing factor in all your success though and you make me realize that I need to fucking exercise if I want to see results like yours (god damnit)

    I guess it is pretty easy to fool your mom, huh? I don't want to say keep that up.. but keep up the good work <3

  3. you can taste it.
    now eat it! lol.

    your mom must not really know much about eating disorders. she really thinks you are eating all that stuff huh?

    keep up the good work. <3