i feel so bad for not being on here but like twice in a week. there's really no excuse other than i've been shoving food down my throat for the past week and i feel disgusting.
im done with abc, i cant do it, i give it up.
its just not for me.
im going back to fasting for the rest of the week, and maybe by sunday i'll have my deal figured out.
all your comments made me cry, and i felt so bad for having been so weak these last few days, but i havent thought about eating for at least a few hours now and considering the past few days, that is definitely a good thing. you guys are so freaking awesome you know that??? ;)
i took laxatives the whole week, so i havent gained that much weight, but im really scared now because in this book im reading it lists all the horrible things that laxatives do to your body, so after today im not going to use them. i only have like 9 left anyways, so thats my reason for not ever bingeing ever ever again. even though theres no food in my house now, so i dont think i could really binge on anything other than salad and fruit..
so yup, this means im back, and hopefully stronger than before, and im going to be harder on myself about exercising, because no fitness regime is complete without appropriate exercise, and i haven't moved in almost two weeks.
and i have to get senior pictures done soon and im freaking out because i have to look really good because this picture will be the one that people remember me by for the rest of my life...
omg maybe i won't go get them done waaaaa
i look so horrible. my stomach is all poked out like im pregnant or something.
i took 15 laxatives today, which was stupid, because that means in a few more hours im going to die...
but at least that will be out of my system, and then i'll feel lighter and im going to drink a lot of water to make up for my not drinking enough water the past few days and then ill be back on track.
and hopefully back down to 160. by sunday. must must must get back down to there, asap.
i hate food hangovers. i feel so gross and sluggish :P
im going to go learn how to use a sewing machine now.
stay strong everyone. thank you so much for your comments <333