i had a dream last night that i went to my grandma's and she had a LOT of candy, like my favorite kind, like snicker's and reese's and just ugh and in my dream i ate like all of them...
since i woke up, i cannot stop thinking about candy and i fucking WANT IT so bad :( but i have no money for candy. and no cigarettes left. so if i did have money i would spend it on cigarettes instead of candy anyways :(
my plan from now on is to only spend money on drugs and alcohol. and juice. i love juice.
no more food for meeee
especially not candy ugh :(

oh, also, i turn 20 in 20 days :'( i never wanted to live this long. fml.
but suicide never works for me.... i fail at life, and death, so wtf am i supposed to do now?!

also also, my legs have been numb, like all day... like im scared to try and walk cuz everytime i get up i fall lol im like those toys that stand straight and when you push the button they like crumble... oh shit, that was an amazing metaphor for my life............ i just mindfucked myself wtf mindmasturbation whattt