Friday, September 23, 2011

im so full i literally cannot move :(

and my heart is literally pounding out of my chest from being under the pressure of my stomach :(

im debating on just lying here and not purging because purging will fuck up my heart more but i cannot lie down because my stomach hurts so bad wahhh

times like this, i would give anything and everything to be able to control this.

im gonna go purge now, so at least my stomach will stop hurting. my heart won’t ever stop hurting anyway.


i feel like i just put my stomach through a washing machine.

i literally b/p’d on enough food for like two weeks, didn’t get everything up, drank a two liter of water, purged that (with more food), drank another two liter of water and purged (food), and was going to do the water thing again because i KNOW there’s still food in me but i had been doing this for three hours and all the purging was making my heart feel reeeeeeeeally weird and my eyes got bloodshot and i got dizzy when i stood up the last time :( so i took a shower. and now my nails are breaking off.

my stomach looks like a bag that has been emptied, you know how bags get like wrinkles and folds when they’re empty? that’s kinda what my stomach looks like. it feels like i put it through the rinse cycle.

green tea, cigarette, and then the drinking shall commence unless i’m too tired.


  1. Wow, happy birthday my ___...
    I'm sad to hear you've been through all of this. Our bithdays is the one time at a year where we should feel good about ourself, 'cause the realization that we're getting older and older is enough for one day. Or something like that.
    Stay strong girl!
    I hope your day gets better :/ <3

  2. Bloody hell.

    Icing cakes it a bitch. Seriously, NOBODY can do that shit right! If the can, they're secretly some kind of terminator machine sent back from the future to kill us all with poisonous cake icing 0.0

    I hope the rest of your weekend goes well. I'd say drink all of the coffee and green tea you an hold, hopefully it will slow the b/p down a bit and help your heart recover. Do you have pedalyte? You can find it at the chemists. It's something they give to kids with gastro, to replenish their electrolyte levels. (I saw it yesterday when hunting through the antacids for something to cut this fucking appetite increase the meds gives me)

    Love you <3