im debating on just lying here and not purging because purging will fuck up my heart more but i cannot lie down because my stomach hurts so bad wahhh
times like this, i would give anything and everything to be able to control this.
im gonna go purge now, so at least my stomach will stop hurting. my heart won’t ever stop hurting anyway.
i literally b/p’d on enough food for like two weeks, didn’t get everything up, drank a two liter of water, purged that (with more food), drank another two liter of water and purged (food), and was going to do the water thing again because i KNOW there’s still food in me but i had been doing this for three hours and all the purging was making my heart feel reeeeeeeeally weird and my eyes got bloodshot and i got dizzy when i stood up the last time :( so i took a shower. and now my nails are breaking off.
my stomach looks like a bag that has been emptied, you know how bags get like wrinkles and folds when they’re empty? that’s kinda what my stomach looks like. it feels like i put it through the rinse cycle.
green tea, cigarette, and then the drinking shall commence unless i’m too tired.