i am so fucking pissed off. nobody ever wants to do shit that i want to do, even when it's MY fucking birthday.

so ya know what? fuck all of everyone. no, you can’t drink with me because i paid for this with my own fucking food money and no i will not smoke weed from you because i cat smoke after im drinking i have to smoke before i drink or i go crazy. nobody ever wants to do anything during the day, and im not the type of person to love being high at night because when im high is the only time i think sunshine is pretty so just fuck everyone.

happy fucking birthday. im gonna watch 101 dalmations again and chug my handle of vodka all by myself until i fucking die.

****EDIT

i dont even want to fucking drink anymore i want to spend my very last 20 bucks, that i was gonna spend on weed, and just binge. i want to spend all of my money thats supposed to last me the next 3 months on food and binge and purge until my heart explodes. i cant fucking do this.

why does everybody fucking hate me? like really wtf did i do to the world to make everyone act such shit to me?!

***************EDIT2

...the lonliest kind of lonely is when you search your whole entire life for that one special person who understands, one person who will just exist with you when the world turns its back on you, one person to make you feel not left out and alone and sad, and then you finally find that one single person in the whole wide world, and then they die. because then you're even more alone in the world than you already were before.