Maybe I Don't Want a Scale...

...cuz if I had one I would brake it right now. I finally stopped binging. I fasted all day yesterday, and exercised a lot on Tuesday and yesterday. Then this morning I made vegan pancakes, which were amazingly delicious, and smoothies, for my brother and I. I made him promise to try being vegan for a day. I love how gullible 9 year olds are :) I want my brother to be educated in health, and not follow in my family's footsteps. I'm going to teach him everything I know about animals, and why we shouldn't eat them, and let him make his own decision, while trying to convince him to be at least vegitarian. I want that so badly for my brother. He's tiny, and really active, so if he doesn't grow up with the southern conservative views of food like the rest of my family, maybe there's hope for him.
On the flip side, I feel gross. I took more laxatives. And I'll take more after lunch, because if I don't eat what I cook, how can I expect my brother to eat it? But then I'm bringing him to the track with me. My friend is bringing her little sister, so they can occupy eachother while she and I exercise our fat asses off for at least two hours. If only I had a job, then I could afford a gym membership :/ But untill then, at least I have track. Which includes running, walking, riding my bike, and beast-mose running up stairs. Which is good for my legs and my enormous butt. And tonight when I get home, I'm definitely going to lift weights and do as many crunches as I can. I have to lose as much weight as I can by Saturday night.
Speaking of Saturday night, here's the thing. Yes, I have had lots of crazy wild calorie-burning sex with my boyfriend. He was my first, and I was his first. And we have talked about fantasies before, and his biggest one (duh, because he's a guy) is to have 2 girls at once... My best friend said she woulddo it, which would be really cool because I"m comfortable around her. However, way back when, I had a huge crush on her. I used to be like madly in love with her, but I kind of channelled that out for the purpose of saving a very deep and strong friendship. We've never had sex before, or even kissed. But all of a sudden, my boyfriend is like yeah lets have a threesome with *best friend*. Which is cool and all... but she's a virgin. And idk if I like the idea of my best friend losing that to the same guy I did... I don't think I'm comfortable with that. It doesn't seem right, and I'm not a jealous person, but I think I would just get like really angry if I saw that happen. And I don't want our friendship to fall out like that because she means too much to me to lose. She's the only one who knows truly everything there ever was to know about me.
As much as I want to please my boyfriend, I can't do that to her, or to myself. I think I'm going to tell her never mind.
And that's Heather's sex-talk for the day.
Lol.
Soo... now the question of lunch for my brother.... I know he definitely won't eat a salad... :*(