party's over

i ate too much
spaghetti and brownies today
BUT i will fast tomorrow. i have two laxatives left. i don't think i am going to take them because idk when i will be able to get more because i am home for christmas and idk when mom is gonna be going to walmart :/
but when she does all this junk will be out of me.
in the meantime all i can really do is fast tomorrow. i'm thinking i'll just do a liquids only fast.
stick to my 700 calories a day, liquids only, including juice, coffee, tea, clear soup, diet soda (but probably not because i haven't had soda in a while) and that's about all we have to drink here other than of course water. i need to drink water more, i haven't done that in a loooooong time :/ but oh wells.

we decorated the tree today :] and i made way too many brownies and cupcakes and cookies :p ughhh but it's all in christmas spirit, and with my family here, they are already halfway gone, and by tomorrow evening, if they aren't gone, i'll just flush them down the toilet.
i haven't had to flush food down the toilet in so long that the idea of that seems downright retarded.
but then, i also miss the stealth of it and the feeling of pulling the wool over my mom's eyes.
hence therefore, i shall be flushing alot of food over the next few weeks.

and i will NOT be a binge monster. no no no! i refuse.
i must get to 140 by new year's.

i realize i have been rambling.
i do not care lol
umm... what else....

i had to take christmas pictures with my mom and my brother today at the beach with santa hats. it was freezing. i was made to wear white, and therefore looked fat. but only in my stomach. the rest of me looked pretty damn good if i do say so myself. especially my face. i can't believe how much weight i have lost in my face its so amazing.

except i can almost guarantee that tomorrow i will feel all bloaty and gross.
but that is ok because i have my DDR and also tae bo and i will be rocking the fuck out of DDR tomorrow. i really wanted to do some today but i was gone all day with pictures and then the tree and now i just feel like blahhhh and i want to sleep :/ sleeping is the last thing you're supposed to do after eating alot of sweets :'( and i read somewhere that sugar before bed gives you crazy dreams and nightmares.
which is like exactly what i need right more reasons to have nightmares :p ugh

so, tomorrow will include at least 2 hours of DDR and lots of coffee/tea and maybe some soup and some juice for energy and then i will read a book and i also brought my paint so i could also create a masterpiece tomorrow if i wish but in no way shape or form will tomorrow include solid foods.

how will you make your sunday a good day?