Monday, April 18, 2011

days 3/4 :/

i did ok on saturday, didn't eat alot, but i didn't go running, but i walked a shit ton so it's ok.
then yesterday, bf ordered pizza :p i only had 5 slices, which is about half what vi usually would have eaten, but i didn't go running yesterday either cuz i was high all day lol
basically, this weekend was a bump in the road, but all in all it wasn't too bad, and i'm going to go running twice everyday this week if i can to make up for it. i gotta get below 150 by saturday.
i knpw i can do it without exercise if i fast for 4 days, but i want to have muscles, and i have worked really hard to get the little bit of muscle mass i have now back from where i used to be after 3 years of starving and purging. true, i still am not doing this quite 'the healthy way', but i'm trying to take baby steps to get back up to close to normal?
either that or i just think what i'm doing is normal when really my perception of normal is way too screwed up to even know what 'normal' is....
the above statement is probably true.
but anyways so i'm gonna go finish my coffee and go run now, i'll update again later with how i did for today, and tell you guys what i ate, because that's important too and cuz i told myself i would lol
i hope everyone is staying strong and reaching their goals, and if you're not, then i want you to know that it will be ok, do not get discouraged just because you ate x slices of pizza or had x calories one day, because one day isn't that important in a lifetime of days, and as long as you stop yourself right now and focus on TODAY and making TODAY a good day, then tomorrow it will be easier to make it a good day as well. stay optimistic, and never give up <3

1 comment:

  1. I just have to say, I am so proud of you for taking baby steps to eating healthy. Great job! :D

    Good luck on reaching your goal for Saturday! You can definitely do it! =]

    And thanks for the encouraging words. I really needed it...since I'm trying to fast until Sunday...but totally already ate this morning. Ugh. I guess I'll just keep fasting from this morning on.