Monday, October 10, 2011

i'm only 14 hours in my 50 hour fast and i already want to quit :(
i skipped my first class and i just wanna skip my other two today and watch halloweentown and casper and b/p all day.
i have no friends. i guess they figured i'm ok now since it's jake's bday and all and he's been dead for five months and five months is enough time to get over the death of your soulmate right yeah so sure heather's just fucking fine and back to fucking normal...
i have to lose weight. i have to be a skeleton so they can actually physically SEE the fucking pain i am in :( fucking ignorant bitches.

yeah, 14 hours :p ugh
i had a veggie burger and some crackers.
i stopped myself before i binged, though, and im currently making a pot of beans for dinner if i'm hungry then (i probably will be) but i most likely am going to put them fridge for tomorrow or the next day or the next day because i need to stop being so greedy because im a failure and a weak greedy american pig and if i dont stop ill be just like every other fucking american pig.
oh hell naw, i refuse.

also, if i live long enough to be old. i'm moving to russia in the mountains in a log cabin in the middle of the woods miles and miles away from society, and ill have 42 cats and a stockpile of liquor. and internet. and tea.


  1. That's good you didn't binge!

    I can't imagine what your going through after losing Jake. Not that I believe in God whatsoever but I do believe there has to be more than just this one short lifetime with your true love so try not to feel like you've lost him forever. I don't know if that made sense but stay strong :)

  2. Hey! We could do a fast together!
    Maybe fasting with company will be more motivating. :x