Monday, May 23, 2011

i hate people

i mean, yeah, i'm sort of traumatized right now, and things are definitely not ok. my whole life basically ended. the only reason i wanted to "recover" died.
but that doesn't mean im a different personality type, i still like being alone, and sometimes i just NEED to not have people say "im here if you need me" or "can i cook you dinner" or "meet me downstairs in 5 min were going to a party"
yeah, i went to the party because they had lots of beer.
but i have this one friend who i love dearly and she is trying her damnedest to be sure that i never have one minute alone and im really fucking over it
stop fucking texting me
stop trying to come see me
im gonna stop answering her completely
i push people away, its just what i do
im sorry, but i need time to figure out where to go from here, and nobody can decide that except me, and i do not need a fucking babysitter
im fucking 19, almost 20, i need to figure things out for myself for once.
and i know they are all just trying to help, and i love all of them so much for that
but seriously
leave me the fuck alone

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry, honey. I just now read everything that happened, and Jesus Christ. I don't even know what to say. I'm here if you need to talk, I know you probably don't want to right now.
    I love you, and I'm here. <3