Wednesday, December 23, 2009

round 2

ding ding!
my tummy hurts really bad this time... does that mean its working?

if it doesnt work today, im just gonna ride my bike to cvs and buy some laxatives.
i wish walmart was rigth next door... its way too far for me to ride my bike to it would probably take 20 minutes to get there, and twenty to get back...
hey wait, i need exercise anyways... and that would burn off like 400 ish calories... not to mention the laxatives are cheaper there, and i have a gift card... and i could get my diet pills too...
but im scared someone would steal my bike... and people would think im some weird homeless girl on a bike... damn the neighborhood...

i wish i lived on the better side of town...
when i get an apartment, its definitely gonna be in arlington or at the beach, most deff, cuz the northside sucks ass..

note to anyone ever thinking about visiting florida: the northside of jacksonville SuCkS! don't come here!

actually, the whole city is kind of boring and lame anyways, so dont come here at all.
go to orlando, or just stay out of florida.
there really is nothing in florida unless you go to orlando.
which is why when i get a hair license im getting OUT and going to either new york or california.

im hyper...
i hate it this time though cuz i know its from all ther SHIT ive been eating ughhhhhhhhhhhhh
i neeeeeeeeeed my control back :[
i thougth it was coming back, but then...... it was just wishful thinking.
i hate losing control :(((
i hate that all my new clothes my mom is giving me for christmas are a size too small, even though i did that on purpose so i would have incentive to lose more weight... but now, i wont be able to wer new clothes on christmas...
ill just wear pajamas all day, like ive been doing the past 6 days, because im too fat to even THINK about wearing anything else.

I will not wear cute clothes until I'm back to 150.
thats a good goal, right?
It might work... im definitely not going to eat anymore today... i feel sick... too much sugar, too much salt from yesterdays salt water flush gone wrong... and im mega bloated today because of it... so todays flush better fuckign work, if not, then im going to water fast for the next 2 weeks.

omg i used to be able to fast for like 6 days where did that go???

what have i done to myself....


  1. i wouldnt advise going very far away from your front door if the salt water flush goes according to plan. its...sudden. plus laxatives wont help once you've drunk all the water already, they wont take effect before the water is meant to have run through your digestive system. hope it worked this time! xx

  2. Awwh, Jacksonville. I kind of hate it too, haha. Once I was in Jacksonville and a random drunk lady punched me in the side of my head for no apparent reason. Fun times.

    Awh and I know what you mean about how you used to be able to fast... I could never fast that long, but I used to be able to go a good three days, no problem. I used to think 200 calories was this huge number for the day and now if I stay anywhere near 200 in a MEAL I consider it good. What's happened to us, Heather? Bahhhh.