Thursday, December 24, 2009


on christmas eve... my whole family is gathered at my great aunts house to eat and open presents.. and my mom left me at home. she knew i wanted to go. she saw me getting dressed. i asked her when they were planning on leaving.

she didnt tell me she was leaving, just got in the truck and left, and didnt say goodbye...

she doesnt care about me at all.. this documents proof of that fact. i dont exist to her.

just wait, cuz one day shell wish she had paid attention. one day i'll be something amazing. something worthy of attention and love. one day shell be like damn i wonder what has happened to my daughter... but by then, ill be in california, far away from her, and after i leave, im not coming back, or writing, or calling, for at least a very very very long time.

i wish someone cared. i wish brandon would come back. i wish i was good enough for somebody, anybody, to just care about me. i don't want to be alone.

i don't want to be alone :(


  1. That's absolutely awful honey, I'm so sorry. :[
    You aren't alone, you have all of us here ready to support you in an instant. I promise, you aren't alone. :]


  2. What a shitty thing to do to someone, especially on Christmas Eve. : ( But you're not alone, well maybe right now you're PHYSICALLY alone but not emotionally: you have all of us! This whole community supports you honey, you're not alone at all. : ))))

  3. oh, no way am I letting you be alone on Christmas Eve!! You have all of us here, I'll be with you in spirit the whole season and longer, don't forget you have us!

    You are absolutely perfectly worthy of all the love and attention in the world, so never think you're alone. Even if you can't be with your blood relatives today, there's always your virtual famly right here.

    You can use this time to yourself for some TV watching, or check out what you have to make homemade face masks--home spa days are my favorite ways to cheer up. Have a great time yourself, I'm thinking of you!!

    Merry Christmas, hope it's lovely for you and anyone who's not letting you be in the spirit gets a sinus infection for a week or eight! :)

  4. I fucking hate your mum and any one who makes you feel any pain.
    Because you can only feel hurt for the abusive nasty thing they do, there are a whole network of people who only feel anger.
    We support you.

    WOW 65 POUNDS, thats amazing, your amazing.