soooooooo....

i think my bestie is letting me spend the nght with her, which just saved my life, because that means walmart, which also means exlax, which means im saved!
except i really need akavar too, but to get both i need 15 dollars, and right now i only have $11.87.........
and i know i shoudlnt steal money from my mom because she doesnt have a real job, but....
then theres this bitch who lives in my head and tells me what to do, and she is telling me "just take it its not even 5 dollars just like three you can pay her back one day and besides i want you to be skinny if your not skinny your not worth anything so just take the mney"
fuck you ana.
i love you so much, yes, i'll go see if my mom has any spare change...

ugh.
but even if i do take money from her theres a possibility that i still wont have enough to get exlax and akavar, so im debating: would it be better to get a quick fix to get rid of this food rotting inside of me, or to buy akavar which will last longer and help me fast throguh this week...
and of course even though logically it would make more sense to think about the future and buy the akavar, im going to buy the exlax because i need to lose this binge weight from the past like 4 days as fast as possible...

fuck eating-disordered-logic.
ugh.

but whatever.... anyways im in kind of a weird mood right now coming down from the biggest sugar high ever i feel so weird like sad as hell because EVERYTHING FUCKING SUCKS but like hyper and content because theres so many things in my system right now that my body isnt used to...

idk...
im gonna go eat pineapples now bye