http://www.theage.com.au/news/health/relating-to-anorexia/2008/04/08/1207420388538.html
amazing.
btw, im 150 today :]
and happy. happier, at least.
how is everyone?
Friday, July 23, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
quick update
been super busy, but happier i think? i havent binged in 13 days. mostly because i got a tongue ring and it makes it difficult to eat sometimes. but still :] victory!
ive been eating alot of fruit lately.
and smoking alot of weed lately.
i never get the munchies really until the day after.
which is why today i am destracting myself with ddr and exercise. hopefully.
last night was amazing. my best friend and i drove into the abyss for three hours. with no shirts on :D
update on boy from previous posts: he is amazing :] but neither of us really want a relationship rigt now, so we are just really, really close friends.
hehehehehehe
i love it when things seem perfect for a change.
but it is ruined as soon as i look in a mirror
ive been eating alot of fruit lately.
and smoking alot of weed lately.
i never get the munchies really until the day after.
which is why today i am destracting myself with ddr and exercise. hopefully.
last night was amazing. my best friend and i drove into the abyss for three hours. with no shirts on :D
update on boy from previous posts: he is amazing :] but neither of us really want a relationship rigt now, so we are just really, really close friends.
hehehehehehe
i love it when things seem perfect for a change.
but it is ruined as soon as i look in a mirror
Friday, July 9, 2010
be back monday :D
going camping at the beach :D
today: 2 starbursts- 40
15 almonds- about 100
:D
plan: eat as little as possible, and only fruits/veggies/nuts when forced
go running on the beach every morning before sunrise
sooooooooo excited :DD
love you guys!!
oh! ps- i am totally crushing on the one guy xD
today: 2 starbursts- 40
15 almonds- about 100
:D
plan: eat as little as possible, and only fruits/veggies/nuts when forced
go running on the beach every morning before sunrise
sooooooooo excited :DD
love you guys!!
oh! ps- i am totally crushing on the one guy xD
Thursday, July 8, 2010
back on track
sadhana: i will never stop posting!!! i love yousguys way too much :]
i fell into a pothole in the road, but i climbed out and i am back down to 155,, and the next 5 days im going camping so it will be easy to get away with not eating much because all im taking for food is fruit and almonds :]
yesterday was a good day :] i had 130 cals of almonds, and a low-carb monster energy drink, so i had 150 cals :D and i did DDR and burned 500 calories, AND, i went to a show with some friends last night, and got up close and personal with this amazingly sexy guy :D
i feel very awesome today. how is everyone else?
i fell into a pothole in the road, but i climbed out and i am back down to 155,, and the next 5 days im going camping so it will be easy to get away with not eating much because all im taking for food is fruit and almonds :]
yesterday was a good day :] i had 130 cals of almonds, and a low-carb monster energy drink, so i had 150 cals :D and i did DDR and burned 500 calories, AND, i went to a show with some friends last night, and got up close and personal with this amazingly sexy guy :D
i feel very awesome today. how is everyone else?
Saturday, July 3, 2010
abc day 14? ha...
you guys are so awesome!!! thanks so much for your kind words and support it really does help. this whole week has been crazy i have been way too busy with school stuff to even think about food or my ex bf and i havent lost any weight at all because ive been eating shit food but luckily i have been walking non stop all day the past two days for orientation so i havent gained any weight at all either. im 156, which isnt horrible but isnt pretty either :/
today would be day 14 of abc, but i already screwed that up, but i dont feel bad today so i am going to fast the rest of the day and exercise to make up for it, and then move on tomorrow to day 15. am going to redo all the days i messed up after i get to day 50. i WILL be skinny for college.
speaking of college, i have amazing news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM GETTING A FULL SCHOLARSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HIHGAEGBVOHBHUGBSVQEVGBUOANKHZJBFDB YAY
it will cover housing fees, tuition, lab fees, books, and even a meal plan! so of course i am getting the smallest meal plan... but the campus has a coffee shop so i will just use all my meal credits to buy coffee :] i am so excited! i find out who my roommate is the middle of this month, i hope i know who she is and isnt a complete stranger :/ but it would almost be better to have a roommate who is a complete stranger that way i dont have to worry about if she finds out about my ed...
my mom is like trying to force me to get a mini fridge for my dorm and to fill it with food im like uh no ill fill it with low carb monster energy drink, tea, coffee, and apples and that is it. i dont want to eat like ever at college. i probably wont because i dont like eating in front of people and there are people everywhere...
im also scared that like what happens if i binge and have to purge cuz i am definitely taking my bucket with me but i wont be able to use it like any time i want :/ idk.
but yeah mostly im really really excited :D and my bf and i decided that even though he is an asshole i will still be friends with him because i do really care for him and we are very close and we dont really know alot about each other still so were just going to be friends.
that way im not obligated to turn down all the hot college guys :D hehehehehe
i havent heard from my guy friend in a while because he is grounded :/ i really miss him.
my bestie is coming back on monday!!!!!!!! she is going to continue abc with me and we are going to kill ourselves with exercise :D
oh oh oh and i start a babysitting job on monday so i will be too busy to eat much this week :DDD yay!!!!!!
i hope all of you are doing fantastic! i have missed you all this week and i will try my best to update more often than last week. i forgot how inspiring using blogger everyday was :]
stay strong <333
today would be day 14 of abc, but i already screwed that up, but i dont feel bad today so i am going to fast the rest of the day and exercise to make up for it, and then move on tomorrow to day 15. am going to redo all the days i messed up after i get to day 50. i WILL be skinny for college.
speaking of college, i have amazing news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM GETTING A FULL SCHOLARSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HIHGAEGBVOHBHUGBSVQEVGBUOANKHZJBFDB YAY
it will cover housing fees, tuition, lab fees, books, and even a meal plan! so of course i am getting the smallest meal plan... but the campus has a coffee shop so i will just use all my meal credits to buy coffee :] i am so excited! i find out who my roommate is the middle of this month, i hope i know who she is and isnt a complete stranger :/ but it would almost be better to have a roommate who is a complete stranger that way i dont have to worry about if she finds out about my ed...
my mom is like trying to force me to get a mini fridge for my dorm and to fill it with food im like uh no ill fill it with low carb monster energy drink, tea, coffee, and apples and that is it. i dont want to eat like ever at college. i probably wont because i dont like eating in front of people and there are people everywhere...
im also scared that like what happens if i binge and have to purge cuz i am definitely taking my bucket with me but i wont be able to use it like any time i want :/ idk.
but yeah mostly im really really excited :D and my bf and i decided that even though he is an asshole i will still be friends with him because i do really care for him and we are very close and we dont really know alot about each other still so were just going to be friends.
that way im not obligated to turn down all the hot college guys :D hehehehehe
i havent heard from my guy friend in a while because he is grounded :/ i really miss him.
my bestie is coming back on monday!!!!!!!! she is going to continue abc with me and we are going to kill ourselves with exercise :D
oh oh oh and i start a babysitting job on monday so i will be too busy to eat much this week :DDD yay!!!!!!
i hope all of you are doing fantastic! i have missed you all this week and i will try my best to update more often than last week. i forgot how inspiring using blogger everyday was :]
stay strong <333
Sunday, June 27, 2010
abc day 7/8
how day seven was supposed to go:
almonds- 72
mini wheats- 50
veggie burger- 70
applesauce- 50
small salad- 50
ddr- 215
total in- 292
total out- 215
net calories- negative 77
how it went:
see above, add break up with bf, add 2000 calories, add too miserable to purge.
meh.
day 8:
see above, add 500000000000 calories, purged today, and took laxatives.
meh.
why are men such assholes???? he thinks im hurt. im really not. i broke up with him, he wants his shit back etc... he keeps calling which is making it 1000000 times worse. im so pissed. ugh.
well, i was... now i just feel void.
yay.
<3
almonds- 72
mini wheats- 50
veggie burger- 70
applesauce- 50
small salad- 50
ddr- 215
total in- 292
total out- 215
net calories- negative 77
how it went:
see above, add break up with bf, add 2000 calories, add too miserable to purge.
meh.
day 8:
see above, add 500000000000 calories, purged today, and took laxatives.
meh.
why are men such assholes???? he thinks im hurt. im really not. i broke up with him, he wants his shit back etc... he keeps calling which is making it 1000000 times worse. im so pissed. ugh.
well, i was... now i just feel void.
yay.
<3
abc day 6
almonds: 160
grapes: 50
total: 210
i went over a little but yesterday was so amazing that i don't even care. i went to ichetucknee river with my cousins who i havent seen all in the same place in years, and my best guy friend. we went tubing :] so much fun and my best guy friend and i both agreed that since neither of us really know what we want right now, but since we both sort of love each other in weird complex ways, were just going to stay chill right now and go with the flow of things nd if we end up together then we do and if we dont then we dont. i just know that i could be with him forever and never ever ever get bored. he is so amazing and funny and the best friend ever.
anyway, i had the best day ever yesterday, so going over a little was absolutely not a problem :]
also because I AM 153 TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so it really does not matter :]
today is day 7, 300 calories, im at 50, fixin to go exercise, i feel so strong today :]
i love you guys!!! pics tomorrow!!!
<33333333333
grapes: 50
total: 210
i went over a little but yesterday was so amazing that i don't even care. i went to ichetucknee river with my cousins who i havent seen all in the same place in years, and my best guy friend. we went tubing :] so much fun and my best guy friend and i both agreed that since neither of us really know what we want right now, but since we both sort of love each other in weird complex ways, were just going to stay chill right now and go with the flow of things nd if we end up together then we do and if we dont then we dont. i just know that i could be with him forever and never ever ever get bored. he is so amazing and funny and the best friend ever.
anyway, i had the best day ever yesterday, so going over a little was absolutely not a problem :]
also because I AM 153 TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so it really does not matter :]
today is day 7, 300 calories, im at 50, fixin to go exercise, i feel so strong today :]
i love you guys!!! pics tomorrow!!!
<33333333333
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