i feel so fucking selfish.
how can i wish for death when my little brother needs me so much?
:(
that much selfishness shouldn't exist.
my little brother is the only thing keeping me from killing myself. i know he would still be fine, he is young enough that it might not fuck his brain up for life, but his existence, when he was born he lit up my life.
i cant just let that spark die.
but knowing im this fucking selfish just makes me want to die so much more :( he deserves a better sister :(
idk what to fucking do :(
i want to binge, i want to cut... i think if i do one then i wont do the other
and well lets face it, cutting burns more calories than bingeing does so...