Saturday, September 12, 2009

ok, you know what?!

fuck life. fuck people caring. fuck trying to hide this.
all that matters right now is me. my life, my body, my feelings, my goals.

nothing is going to stop me.

im going to be fucking skinny, no matter what it takes. i will weigh 123 pounds, and eventually 111 pounds, because that's my goal, and so far in my life i have half-assed everything. and im not going to be just half-ass in my personal goals, and im definitely not going to half-ass myself.

after a horrible last few day (as you may have guessed), and after some kickass thinspo from my amazing ana buddy, i am more determined now than ever.

as soon as my mom leaves, im going to ride the exercise bike for as long as i can stand. it's in front of the tv, so i'll just put in a movie and not let myself get off untill the movie's over. that should set me straight for a while.

im fasting starting right now. for as long as i can fucking take it. and im going to post blogs every single day until my birthday. i'm going to go brush my teeth, drink a gallon of water, and burn at least 300 calories on the bike thing.

mom just left.
here i go.

i am a magician: now you see me, now you don't.
my disappearing act begins now.


  1. He hee I'm so excited for you! I felt really weak today and was going to give in to food, but then I looked at some thinspo and thought, "There's no way I'm going to look like THAT if I eat THIS."

    So I didn't :) hope you're doing well today dear. Thanks for the comment as always. I'd love to be 111 as well!

  2. Good luck! Just remember all the flab that builds up is from BINGING after fasting because the metabolism slows down. Be careful!

  3. Good luck!! Try to ride all the way through the credits too, if you feel like it, they always seem to take FOR-EV-ER to me!! :)

    You are never going to give up on your goals, not ever! Stay strong, you'll be perfect!

  4. hey girl im new to blogging but as someone else with some similar numbers as you i totally know what you're feeling! you're an inspiration for me to get down to the 150's (and lower) and i know you will make it to 123.. and even further! and im excited to work my way there to!
    p.s. watching a movie while doing cardio is always the best- my fav is watching titanic because then you have to keep it up for a very long time haha

  5. 111 sounds like a good number.
    You're always so determined! Good luck on the exercise bike, you have 10,000 times more motivation and strength than I do! You go girlll. : )

  6. I'm starting with you RIGHT now. I am going to go brush my teeth and drink a gallon of water. Fasting for 6 days sounds like a good goal and if I can make 9 without getting light headed I WILL do it. I am going to update this thing EVERY day, and I know I can do it.

    I know YOU can do it. I want to hear about how it goes! Think thin! Stay strong!

  7. Fuckin get it girl :)

    You're going to look so amazing.

    You inspire meee!

    I'm starting my fast tomorrowwww <3
    So excited!

    Think thin girl!