Friday, September 25, 2009

i have the best friends in the world.

no lie. I don't care who you are, or how great you think your friends are, because mine are 100% better :] every single one of them.

I went to school on my birthday. And my best friend ever gave me an awesome cd, and we listened to it and danced the whole way to school. And her card was amazing. It had an old guy dancing on a table, and it said "You're only as old as you feel" And it took everything inside of my to not cry. I was laughing so hard, because the guy looked really funny, but the thought made me want to bawl my eyes out.

Also, my ana buddy is amazing. She has helped me through so much. And I can only hope I've been just as helpful to her as well.
And of course, to everyone who has ever commented my blog, you guys are awesome too.

So what if I was 160 for most of this week. So what if I felt horrible at times.
Cuz right now, I'm back to 153, with 147 just around the corner.
And 145 after that :]
Cuz I'm having a birthday party next friday, and I have to look my best for it because it's a rave/pool party :]]]]] I'm so excited.

And today was a good day.
And no, being 18 does not feel any different than being 6. Except for I have boobs now... and I can sign myself out of school early :{D
AND, I can buy porn if I want. And cigarettes. And diet pills. And condoms. And anything I want, including a house. But only if I want to. And most of those things I don't want or need right now.
I've been thinking alot lately, and had I used laxatives this weekend, I would still only be 153 today. Which makes me glad I didn't use them, especially because I know that I'm not dependant on them yet, and I never will be because I'm going to stop using them.

OH MY GOD I HAVE TO SHARE THIS:
my boyfriend took me out to dinner for my birthday. And he bought me the prettiest white gold heart necklace with diamonds in it. And it's real o.o and I wear it every day :] And he is amazing.

And yes, birthday sex is definitely the best kind in my experience thus far. And he told me I was sexy even though my stomach was all full of grossness from bingeing. Even though I was 160.

And this post has no real direction, just random things to keep me online until I decide to go exercise. And then I'm off to volunteer at the pet rescue shelter. And when I get home I'm going to have the most amazing salad ever. Because I have only had coffee and a banana and a spoon of peanut butter today.

And I'm reading Twilight... to keep me occupied...so I will NOT binge this weekend, like I have been seeming to do every single weekend since school has started.
This weekend will be different, because it's Friday, and usually I'm all sad on Fridays, but today I am really happy :]

And I am going to read you guys's blogs soon I promise. Sorry it's been a week. I've been thinking and adjusting things alot lately.

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