Tuesday, January 31, 2012

i took 5 hits of acid friday night, and learned a lot about the people around me and about myself. except, i feel like a different person, like personality-wise. all my thoughts are sort of empty. i still feel emotions when they are provoked by outside stimulus, but my insides feel sort of blank. it’s kind of peaceful to not have all the feelings inside that i used to though, because they were really irrational and they drove me insane.

i feel really separated from society now though, and i think i always felt this way but i tried so hard to conform to society’s ideals that i didn’t realize how absurd that actually is. fuck society. i’m not like most people, and i don’t want a life like most people do. i know there’s something more out there and i need to find it.

also, i think i perma-tripped. sometimes i think i see things out of the corner of my eye that aren’t there when i look at them face-on. this would drive a normal person insane, but i guess i know deep inside its just the drugs and there’s nothing i can do about it really lol

it kind of lets me see my own little world that i live in all the time instead of just when i’m tripping, which is kind of cool, and i know i can ignore it when i need to because i know it’s not real.

i think i have a lot to think about…

4 comments:

  1. Five hits...holy shit chic! haha. Hope you had fun despite your revelations.

    I have often felt the same way. That I just don't belong and there is something bigger and better out there. Is there? Hell if I know, but hopefully we find it one day.

    Have a great day hun and hope you feel better after you sort some thoughts out. :)

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  2. FIVE! WOW

    I always see things out the corner of my eye and I have never had acid.
    Hope you get your emotions figured out!
    The hollowness inside is so awful

    We are here x

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  3. Yes! Society's standards do not matter. For example, I don't want to have kids, even though that's the expected social norm. Do what makes you happy :)

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  4. I took three hits of swiss acid one time and fell through walls. Talk about going insane. I haven't been the same since. But I feel like I took nzt40 from the movie limitless. So weird.

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