Wednesday, September 29, 2010


everything goes from good to bad to better to worse and back again in minutes.

wake up, feel ok, eat a little, no problem.

start to go to class, pass by too many people, turn around, back to dorm, catch breath.

get bored, watch tv show reruns, eat too much, feel like shit.

get high, feel better, eat more, feel not high anymore, and feel like shit.

throw up, drink water, throw up again, feel better.

look in the mirror, notice nothing has changed since this morning, feel worse.

and now, i am here.

feel the melancholy emptiness and emotionless numb self of me.


  1. when i used to get high i'd convince myself food was disgusting and the feeling/texture was disgusting, the way it felt going down was disgusting, then i'd imagine how it would just turn to fat on my body, that's how i cured myself of munchies, it got to the point where i didn't even have to think about it, i just knew how gross food was. plus food kills the high so for longer lasting highs either eat a bit before or don't eat at all
    hope it helps with the munchies those evil bastards
    hope you feel better soon *hug*
    stay strong muah

  2. i'm sorry you feel that way, hun :/
    stay as positive as you can!
    aim for your future goal!
    we are all here to support you and each other :)