new diet.

im making this up as i go along. phase 1 is gonna be sort of like a detox. im going to do this until halloween.

phase 1: fruits, vegetables, popcorn, water, tea, black coffee (til sunday)

phase 2: same as above adding in oatmeal, almonds, veggie burgers (sunday til i visit home on saturday)

gaining

by aimee liu

go read it now
i just finished it

and ive never cried so hard in my entire life.


"I want to gain back my life, but when does it start?"
"It's already started. It's happening. This is your life. Now."

letting things happen

thats what im doing.

i always binge when i visit home.
but it's ok, because i work out like a beast all during the week, and i hardly ever eat, and i have laxatives with me this weekend, so i think i'll be ok.
AND
im only going to be here two days instead of three.

but still.
i feel like i cant control myself when im at home.
and i hate that :/

good news: i havent smoked a cigarette in almost a month :]
and my tattoos are healing very nicely :]]

bleh

ate just a little too much :/
off to the gym :]

you guys should read "anorexics on anorexia" by rosemary shelley, and "gaining: the truth about life after eating disorders" by aimee liu. both are amazing, and keep me entertained while i work out :]

update: im off all my meds, except the birth control shot thing... dont ever get depo, it sucks, ive been bleeding for over a month, almost every day >:|

but ive been oddly happy the past few days :] oh well, hope it lasts :]]

i love you girls/guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxo

OMG

IM WEARING A SIZE 7/8 JEANS 0.0
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCKYEAH!

tattoo

now you guys also know what my face looks like.

still fat >:(