Saturday, April 7, 2012

i think i gained weight.
my clothes were so big on me and now they're slowly getting tighter...
i think it's because cody finally followed through with his taking a break from doing hard drugs, he went two weeks just on weed and alcohol alone which is awesome for him, but that means instead of doing ecstasy and acid i was also drinking and smoking and henceforth munching out on pizza and chinese food instead of luna bars and chobani :(
i do not want to gain weight.

i changed birth controls finally; i'm on tri-sprintec now, a pill. hopefully this shit won't fuck with me like the shot did. i'm pretty sure the shot caused my mood swings to go even crazier than normal and that made my eating habits worse.
maybe now i can be calm and comfortable enough to get stuff done and not eat like shit anymore.

also, i won't be able to take classes this summer because i have no money, so i will be at home and hopefully be getting transferred to the store near my house.

speaking of getting shit done. i have not been doing that.
i have to do:

a paper
a quiz
read like 8 chapters in a week for a class
get an appt with a financial aid adviser
get an appt with my therapist because i missed the last 2
go to the doctor and thank her for antibiotics
get an appt with a guidance counselor about classes
read like 12 chapters in two weeks for another class
pack all the shit in my dorm (moving home in a month)
go to the store and find out how to get transferred
fill out fafsa
paint my nails
tie dye a hoodie

yeah :( i only have like a week to do like half of that stuff.
the other half i have only until like the 27th or something.

staying home for summer is gonna suck ass.
hopefully i can get my goddamn car running by then.

i'm not depressed anymore. i'm not really like happy i guess, but i've come a long way from my lowest point back in winter. i have a job, decent grades, a huge group of friends, the best boyfriend ever, a family that i love more than anything, and magic herbs to help me sleep at night and not kill everyone at work :)
purge free since december 29th <3


  1. You're doing amazing! :') and don't worry about that tiny weight gain (if you even gained fat in the first place), you'll lose it in no time.
    Good luck.xx

  2. Congrats on the Purge free!! I have seriously missed you!! Glad you are back.

    Stay Strong

  3. Make a list of that shit, attack the most urgent ones with a hilighter and cross those bitches off as you do them.

    My favourite way to get around stupid amounts of uni reading: Chapter summaries. Fucking epic. Some textbooks do them, some don't, but when they do HELLS YES!

    Since December 29? You are a FUCKING LEGEND!

    We'll get toned and slim again. Pinkie promise.

    You did WHAT to catch up on my blog? I think I have a girl-crush on you now :p You're so on my sock list now!

    The sleepymaking pills are great. They're keeping me relatively sane and forcing me to sleep. What could be better? XD Is the pill helping your moods any? A summer off study could also help the stress levels a bit. If I had taken a semester off I wouldn't have failed so many papers from burnout.

    I had a chance to hoop tonight but didn't coz the voice in my head was screaming that I was a useless fuckup and I had no mates at club to distract me. Meh, I sat in the corner and worked on my shitty crochet XD

    I hope you're well. Love you!