failness :(

i consumed 36,543 calories this month so far. that's 1353 calories a day.
i burned off 8850 calories this month. that's 1025 net calories a day.
if 1000 calories a day is acceptable, then i only went over my calorie limit by 693 calories.
if 700 calories a day is acceptable (which is goal for right now), then i went over by 8793 calories.
i also gained ten pounds this month :(
i plan on burning at least 1000 calories by playing ddr today, and im fasting until march.
i need to exercise more. i need to fast more. i need control again.
fuck nutrition, fuck health, and fuck therapy.
i made a promise to my fellow bloggers and to myself, and to my best friend that i dont talk to anymore, and i plan on keeping my promise.
i will do whatever it takes to become sick again.
<3

sensa?

anyone else wanna try it??? new weight loss thingy.... caught my eye :] imma have to ebay it right now!

how i feel about ED right now

shadowboxer- fiona apple

Once my lover, now my friend
What a cruel thing to pretend
What a cunning way to condescend
Once my lover, and now my friend

Oh, you creep up like the clouds
And you set my soul at ease
Then you let your love abound
And you bring me to my knees

Oh, it's evil babe
The way you let your grace enrapture me
When well you know I'd be insane
To ever let that dirty game recapture me

You made me a shadowboxer, baby
I wanna be ready for what you do
I been swinging around 'cause
I don't know when you're gonna make your move

Oh, your gaze is dangerous
And you fill your space so sweet
If I let you get too close
You'll set your spell on me

So darlin' I just wanna say
Just in case I don't come through
I was onto every play
I just wanted you

Oh it's so evil, my love
The way you've no reverence to my concern
So I'll be sure to stay wary of you, love
To save the pain of once my flame and twice my burn

So I'm a shadowboxer, baby
I wanna be ready for what you do
I been swinging around at nothin
I don't know when you're gonna make your move

Yeah I'm a shadowboxer baby,
I wanna be ready for what you do
And I been swinging around me 'cause
I don't know when you're gonna make your move

bf got mono :/

so no kissing for two weeks
which means no sex for two weeks
which means there goes my exercise for 2 weeks
i need to do real actual exercise lol

i feel huge cuz ive been following my nutritionist's plans and eating 900 calories a day but ive also been going over alot because my roomie and my bf always wanna go out to eat which screws everything up so ive been eating alot of like milkshakes and fries :p ugh
laxative time, here we go!

i miss you guys i hate being so damn busy all the time :(