some tie dyes i've made :D

soooo let me know what you think. obviously i've only been using my old clothes and a few plain shirts i found, i haven't started doing legit t-shirts to sell yet, but if anyone wants one just tell me your size and your favorite color :) they're $5, i'll ship them to you :)
i want to learn how to do designs in the center of the shirts, like hearts and stars and stuff like that. i want to do one with the NEDA symbol in the middle. i think some of you would like that as well. <3

cody and i are going to open up a shop.
full of random tie dyed shit.
so far i have three shirts and two jackets.
cody is stealing the supplies so we're making a hundred percent profit!
we are going to be rich >:D
pics when i have more than 5 things to show you guys.

except i forgot that tequila is bad bad bad for me, i should stick to vodka...
cody and i got in a huge fight over something that happened a while ago that sort of confused both of us
and i said a lot of things that i really didnt mean and should have never said
and i spent the last like 3 hours crying
and idk how to fix it, he says he's ok but he won't even look at me the same
:'( he's my whole world, i can't lose him
idk what to do :'(

sooooooo
lol i switched birth control, gained 4 pounds, stopped taking it completely, and lost 7 pounds in like 4 days....
but eh i dont really care about the number anymore
im mostly concerned with breaking condoms and stuff like that
i cant have a baby right now, but i cant keep torturing myself with all these hormones.
he doesnt like condoms, they actually make him lose hardness, which is tmi, but oh well lol he'll have to get used to it.
anyways
im home for summer
i made 2 As, a B and a C this semester :) so i may get some of my scholarships back.
and home isnt so bad, mom is gone most of the time, and when she is home its a lot more pleasant.
and so far, i've been hanging out with a lot of friends so im not sitting around moping anymore.
i even had a friend drive all the way across town to see me before she leaves for boot camp :')

and now im chillin with my bf and our friend at this guy's house and we have jose cuervo.
and the only thing i have to worry about this summer really is work :)
<3

its finals week, i gave a huge paper to write, and then im moving home for summer.......
that is all.
*cue anxiety*

i think i gained weight.
my clothes were so big on me and now they're slowly getting tighter...
i think it's because cody finally followed through with his taking a break from doing hard drugs, he went two weeks just on weed and alcohol alone which is awesome for him, but that means instead of doing ecstasy and acid i was also drinking and smoking and henceforth munching out on pizza and chinese food instead of luna bars and chobani :(
i do not want to gain weight.

i changed birth controls finally; i'm on tri-sprintec now, a pill. hopefully this shit won't fuck with me like the shot did. i'm pretty sure the shot caused my mood swings to go even crazier than normal and that made my eating habits worse.
maybe now i can be calm and comfortable enough to get stuff done and not eat like shit anymore.

also, i won't be able to take classes this summer because i have no money, so i will be at home and hopefully be getting transferred to the store near my house.

speaking of getting shit done. i have not been doing that.
i have to do:

a paper
a quiz
read like 8 chapters in a week for a class
get an appt with a financial aid adviser
get an appt with my therapist because i missed the last 2
go to the doctor and thank her for antibiotics
get an appt with a guidance counselor about classes
read like 12 chapters in two weeks for another class
pack all the shit in my dorm (moving home in a month)
go to the store and find out how to get transferred
fill out fafsa
paint my nails
tie dye a hoodie

yeah :( i only have like a week to do like half of that stuff.
the other half i have only until like the 27th or something.

staying home for summer is gonna suck ass.
hopefully i can get my goddamn car running by then.

i'm not depressed anymore. i'm not really like happy i guess, but i've come a long way from my lowest point back in winter. i have a job, decent grades, a huge group of friends, the best boyfriend ever, a family that i love more than anything, and magic herbs to help me sleep at night and not kill everyone at work :)
purge free since december 29th <3

im still alive you guys i promise!
still purge-free since before new years :)
im actually losing weight. like, lots of weight. without trying.
im 131, my lowest weight ever.
and i eat like a shit ton of food.

idk.

im doing alright i guess, just stressed out to the max and working a lot and still not getting enough sex so everything still kinda sucks and im not really moving forward at all yet, but after this wednesday i will be on spring break so i will be able to be alive again i hope.

everyone keeps telling me how skinny i look and im just like what i didnt even know i was losing weight until i weighed myself because i look exactly the same as i did when i weighed 150.
but anyways.
idk.
im all over the place. i have a huge paper to write and i have to be at work in 2 hours :(